christmas tree day

Today is Christmas tree day. We are in the car, Mike, Emmett & me, on our way to a farm upstate where we can cut down our own tree. I insist on this, every year. It is one of the small ways I hang on to my brother.

One of my favorite memories of him is the years we went, just the two of us, and chose the perfect tree to cut down and bring home. We would walk circles around every tree, examining them for flaws from all sides. Argue over what attributes mattered most in a tree. Eventually settle on one we both approved of. We both loved doing that, just him and me.

I miss that, so much. My heart longs to choose a tree together with him again, even still. Even as I move forward and forge new, happy, family traditions, this one still pulls at me.

We are a family, out to joyfully choose our tree and begin the holiday season of celebrations. That we will do, but there will be a moment, out on that tree farm, which I will take just for Greg and me, to remember and reflect, and to ask him to point me toward the very best one.


Lynne Dintiman said...

Hugs, peace & blessings to you, Amy, from Lynne in Richmond, VA. I found your blog and your previous post on grieving the loss of your brother today, Dec. 3, 2012, just when I needed it. I went back to your home page after posting a comment and found that just 2 days ago, you went and did this lovely tree choosing in honor of your dear brother. I am moved beyond measure with compassion for you, and I am sharing that I am with you, as I lost my little brother just 19 days ago, on Nov. 13, 2012, suddenly. Thank you for taking the time to post your experience, strength and hope for others. It helps some. Peace & blessings to you and your family, from us in Virginia

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